Subtitle File

칼스 주니어에선
햄버거가 6달러인데

원가는 3달러 95센트
밖에 안 돼요

엄청나죠?
최고의 프랜차이즈예요

어제 거기 갔다가
세 개나 주문했어요

그걸 다 먹었더니
배가 터지겠더라구요

집에 갔더니
에고스가 한 상자 있어서

그것도 다 먹어치웠죠

칼 주니 어처럼 살아야
한다고 생각해봐요

- 배리?
- 그는 아버지 칼의 그늘에서

벗어날 수 없을걸요

그게 어머니를 죽였다는
생각과 관련이 있을까요?

과식으로 죽는 걸
죄값이라고 생각하나요?

- 어머니를 죽였다고 생각하죠?
- 그런 말은 안 했어요

어머니는 커다란 오크 침대에서
당신을 불렀어요

- 가슴 통증을 호소했죠
- 난 그런 말 한적 없어요

- 어떻게 알죠?
- 911에 전화해달라고 했죠

하지만 어머니는 늘 그런
식이었어요, 그렇죠?

거기 있지도 않았으면서
어떻게 알아요?

어떻게?

그건 상관없습니다
어쨌든 자책하지 말아요

- 계속 그러면 과식으로 죽어요
- 그만둬!

내 머릿속을 들여다보잖아
그만해!

- 보지 마
- 그러지 말아요, 배리

내버려둬!

당신 잘못이 아니에요

존시?

잘 지내, 헨리?

뭐라고? 못 들었어

귀먹었어?
잘 지내냐고

알잖아, SSDD

그래, 알지

주말에 시간 되면
더디츠한테 가볼까 해서

그래, 좋아
나도 생각하고 있었어

오랜만이잖아

그래

열렸어요!

끊어야겠어, 일이 생겨서

- 토요일에 봐
- 그래

토요일에 보자

드푸니악 학생

우리 둘 다 메인에서
도망쳐왔다는 거 아나?

넌 피츠필드에서 왔지

데이빗, 장학생이 커닝하다
걸리면 어떻게 되는지 알아?

넌 그 날 감기에 걸려서
시험을 못 봤어

몸이 아파서 못 본 거니
에세이로 대신하면 어때?

노르망 정복의 결과에
대해 3천 단어 이내로

- 가봐
- 네

피츠필드로 돌아갈 순 없잖아

감사합니다

어떻게 아셨죠?
보지도 않았잖아요

그냥 아는 수가 있어

어서 와요

안 될 것 같은데요

세일즈맨에겐 안 될 게 없죠
우린 도전을 좋아하거든요

피트 모어입니다

한 시간 후에 프라이버그의 집을
보여줘야 해요, 커미션이 크죠

근데 차 열쇠를 잃어버렸어요
복사할 수 있을까요?

- 적어도 하루는 걸려요
- 그럴 줄 알았어

진정해요, 트리시
제가 도와드리죠

전 물건을 잘 찾거든요

- 내 이름을 어떻게 알았죠?
- 짐작이죠

열쇠 찾으러 가요

- 안녕, 레이첼
- 안녕, 피트

- 다 찾아봤지만 없어요
- 좋아요, 도움이 필요해요

커피를 들고 아스피린을 사서

차로 갔는데 열쇠가
없어진 걸 알았죠

- 그게 다예요?
- 네

이상하군요
잠깐 생각 좀 해보죠

아스피린을 사기 전에
캔디바를 샀어요

마스 바

저 차죠?

하나만 더 묻죠

열쇠를 찾은 다음
저녁을 사도 될까요?

웨스트 월프, 6시 30분

대합 튀김이 최고죠
돌아가는 가는 길에 있어요

좋아요, 그러죠

- 그렇게 해요
- 좋아요

당신은 여기 와서
가방을 열었어요

커피, 캔디, 아스피린...
정신이 없었죠

바로 그 때

열쇠를 떨어뜨린 거예요

운이 좋았습니다

고마워요

- 웨스트 월프, 6시 30분
- 알았어요

또 망쳤군

- 존시입니다
- 잘 있었어?

- 비버, 맨날 그렇지 뭐
- 맞아, 맨날 그렇지

- 무슨 일 있어?
- 아니, 집에 가나?

- 무슨 일이야?
- 아냐, 집에 가라고

잠깐, 존시

왜, 비버?

조심해

뭘?

그건 나도 모르겠어

뭐라고 했죠?

아무 말 안 했는데요

죄송합니다

이봐요!

- 구급차 불러요
- 소용없어

맙소사, 존스 교수님

아까도 만났는데
이렇게 죽을 리 없어

시작해!

소용없어, 다시!

실시!

- 어때?
- 소용없어, 틀렸어

이스터 게이를 조심해

6개월 후

- 비버, 나 들어간다
- 그래, 이따 봐

- 어제 재미 좀 봤지
- 잘됐네

- 처음이지?
- 죽을래?

빙고에서 여자를 만나
집까지 갔는데 꽝이었어

- 완전 죽쒔군
- 그래

아무리 용을 써도
안 되는데 미치겠더라고

- 비아그라를 먹어봐
- 비아그라?

종일 경례만 하라고?

그걸 뭐라고 하지?
'발' 뭐라던데

발...
헨리가 알 거야

- 먹어보면 놀랄걸
- 너 무슨 문제 있어?

- 먹어보긴 했어?
- 아니!

먹어보고 말해
12시간도 버틸 수 있어

12시간?

한 번 먹어보라구
애용할 것까진 없지만

빙고! 빙고 게임처럼
저절로 탄성이 나올걸

- 행여나
- 비버!

안 통할 줄 알았어

그냥 구경이나 해

난 괜찮아

H, 더디츠 생각해?

주말에 그 친구 보러
가기로 한 거 기억나지?

- 그래
- 그때 차에 치인 거야

이상한 얘기 해줄까?

나 차에 치인 날, 거리를
건너다 더디츠를 봤어

데리에서 처음 봤던 그 날처럼

도움을 청했지만
모두 그를 무시했어

그러다 날 봤지
날 똑바로 쳐다봤어

자기한테 오라고 손짓했지

내 말 믿지?

그럼

더디츠는 날 사랑해
우리 모두를 사랑하지

우릴 해치기 전에
스스로 죽었을 애야

근데 왜 날 불러서
치이게 한 걸까?

우리가 모르는 사연이 있을 거야

- 네가 뭘 알아?
- 말해봐

돈을 걸면 말하지

- 50달러 어때?
- 주제가 뭔데?

영화에선 두 사람이
눈을 뜨자마자

키스를 하고
사랑을 나누는 거야

절대 일어나서 오줌을 누거나
이를 닦는 법이 없지

난 일어나면 항상
그래야 하거든

그게 항상 서있는 걸
뭐라고 하지?

- 지속 발기?
- 그래, 난 그거야

지속 발기

- 어쨌든
- 거기에 거는 거야?

아니, 추한 일상의 단면을
보여주는 영화가 있어

- 25센트 줄게
- 넌 25센트, 넌 50달러

- 프라미스 랜드
- 프라미스 랜드? 처음 듣는데

멕 라이언하고
리퍼 서덜랜드던가?

- 키퍼!
- 1988년 영화일걸

멕 라이언이 일어나서 말해
'고양이 어딨어?'

남자가 '무슨 고양이?' 하니까
'내 입에 쉬한 고양이' 하잖아

돈 내놔

- 말도 안 돼, 네가 지어냈지
- 비버가 지어내?

내 영화 자료 공짜로
봐도 좋아

기억 창고
'알 게 뭐냐' 섹션에 있어

- 기억 창고라니?
- 기억 안 나?

- 잊어버렸나봐
- 기억 창고를 잊어버렸어?

- 그만 놀리고 얘기해봐
- 머릿속에 있어

- 폐기처분 안 했어?
- 아직

너무 많아서 새 걸
배울 때마다 버려야 돼

랩탑을 샀을 땐 로큰롤
가사 파일을 버려야 했지

애플 랩탑 사용법

내 기억 창고는 10년 전
홍수에 떠내려갔어

메인에 홍수가 날 만큼
맥주가 많았나?

존시, 그게 진짜
네 이름인지 모르겠지만...

- 버린 파일은 어쨌어?
- 태웠어

- '블루 베유' 가사도 버렸어?
- 아니

그건 차마 못 버리겠어서
비밀자료 두는 방에 넣어뒀어

더디츠 물건은 어디 둬?

3층 특별칸에

계속 더즈 생각만 나
너희는 어때?

없는 데가 없으니까
어디나 그 친구가 있잖아

벌써 20년째 모임이야

앞으로의 20년을 위해
건배하자

그래, 20년을 위해

우리의 드림캐처...

더디츠를 위해

같이 있으면 좋을 텐데

더즈를 위해

- 더글라스 카벨을 위해
- 더디츠를 위해

메인, 데리
20년 전

왜 티나 쉴로싱거가
트래커 브라더스에 붙어있어?

말했잖아, 그림이니까

- 봤어?
- 아니

가게 뒤에 앉아있던
꼬마는 봤대

트래커 브라더스는 폐허야

보기 싫으면 넌 따라오지 마

맙소사, 셔츠야

- 그래서?
- 새 거야

스쿠비두

제 주인은
더글라스 카벨입니다

주인이 길을 잃었으면 메이플
레인 19번지로 데려다줘요

지체아 학교에 다니는
아이인가봐

어서 먹어
먹으면 보내줄게

얘들아, 그만해!

그만 하라고!

뭐하는 거야?

그걸 먹이려고?
미쳤어?

진정해, 개똥만 먹으면
보내줄 거야

상관말고 가봐

살고 싶으면 가라고

꺼져, 마지막 경고야

- 조심하는 게 좋을걸
- 왜?

- 네가 누군지 알아
- 무서워 죽겠네

- 쿼터백 리치 그레나도
- 그래서?

너 하는 짓을 사람들이
보면 뭐라고 할까?

찍소리도 못할걸
입을 열면 죽일 거니까

- 준비해, 피트
- 말만 해, 헨리

피트는 제트기 수준이야
넌 발끝도 못 따라가

멍청이 하나 못 잡을까봐?

얘가 누군지 알아?
피트 모어야

맞아, 피트 모어
아무도 못 따라잡아

집에 가서 얘 엄마한테
이르자

경찰을 부르실걸
그럼 어떻게 될까?

- 아는 애야?
- 처음 봐

근데 왜 이래?
이 멍청이를 보라구

- 관심 끄는 걸 좋아하잖아
- 네가 어떻게 알아?

덤벼, 멍청이들아!

- 우리랑 싸우겠다고?
- 그래, 그래!

간다, 헨리, 말만 해

- 왜? 너희가 질 건데
- 너희가 잘못하는 거니까

사람들한테 말할 거야
다 불어버리자

- 그냥 가면 되지?
- 아니, 혼내주자!

가자
나중에 보자, 멍청아

또 보자

괜찮아, 울지 마

어떻게 좀 해봐

잘 들어

누구한테 말하면
다신 너희랑 안 놀 거야

비버가 노래도 하네

- 비버, 근사한데
- 농담 아냐, 장난 아니라구

이버!

팬이 생겼네

네 거야?

더글라스 카벨이
네 이름이야?

나 더디츠

- 뭐?
- 나 더디츠

- 더디츠?
- 더디츠?

가자, 더디츠
집에 데려다줄게

달리거나
장난하지 마시오

얘들아, 이리 와봐
더디츠는 거기 두고

여기 있어, 더디츠
알았지?

세상에 맙소사

티나 진 쉴로싱어야

할머니나 되나 보다
잘한다, 비버

세상에, 저걸 보려고
여기까지 온 거야?

아니, 쟤 때문에 왔어

고셀린 마켓

피트, 이것도 가져가야지

태풍이 온다는군
눈이 엄청나게 쌓일 거래

북동풍으로...

- 곧장 가, 헨리
- 곧장 가야죠

- 노닥거리지 말고
- 그럼요

진정해요

진정해요, 괜찮아요

다행이에요

이제 살았어요

어제부터 숲에서
길을 잃었어요

안에 들어가서 몸을 녹여요

- 어때요?
- 좋습니다

제가 해줄게요

릭 맥카시요

게리 존스, 존시라고 불러요

휴대폰이 안 터져서
구조요청을 못 하지만

곧 차가 올 겁니다

죽는 줄 알았어요
가족과도 떨어졌죠

내 목숨을 구했군요

저건 뭐죠?

드림캐처예요

인디언의 부적인데
악몽을 쫓아준대요

안전하게 지켜주죠

악몽이라면 지긋지긋해요

밤새 이래요

어둠 속에서 딸기를 먹었어요

그래서 속이 안 좋은가 봐요

무슨 생각하는지 알아

아침부터 술 마시는 걸
보니 심각하다 싶겠지만

여기서만 그래

현실에선 5시전엔
절대 안 마셔

그랬다간 끝이거든

다행이군

왜 그래?

6개월 전 존시가
차에 치었을 때쯤

환자가 모욕감을 느꼈는지
사무실에서 나가버렸어

배리 니먼이라고...

며칠 전에 신문에 났는데
과식으로 죽었대

다음에 머스탱 팔 때
그 얘기 써먹어도 돼?

그 돼지는 너 아니었어도
배 터져 죽었을 거야

고맙다, 위로가 된다
너도 예민한 구석도 있구나

자, 먹어요
속이 좀 풀릴 거예요

맙소사
누가 다 비운 거야?

- 누구겠어, 피트지
- 그럴 줄 알았어

무슨 일이야?

안녕하세요, 조 클렌돈이에요
비버라고 부르세요

릭 맥카시 씨인데
숲에서 길을 잃었어

반가워요

- 동상이에요?
- 아뇨, 땅콩 먹으면 이래요

알레르기죠

그릴 치즈 먹을 사람?

- 난 수프면 돼요
- 난 먹을래, 줘

몸이 아프면 어머니가
콩 수프를 해주셨는데...

맙소사!

이렇게 지독한 트림 소리는
처음 듣네요

- 정말 창피하네요
- 숲에서 딸기를 먹었대

맙소사
정말 끔찍하네요

미안해요

릭, 걱정 말아요
문 열면 되니까 괜찮아요

뭘 먹었다고요?

그러지 말고

좀 누워서 쉬세요

그래야겠어요

피곤해요

- 가요
- 내 모자

비버?

여기 있어요

받아줘서 고마워요
둘 다요

- 누구라도 그랬을 거예요
- 그건 모르죠

좋아요, 급할지 모르니까

화장실은 왼쪽 세 번째
문이에요

급하면 시원하게 볼일 봐요

필요한 게 있으면 부르세요

죽는 줄 알았네

방독면 없어?
완전 살인가스야

- 무서운 얘기 해줄까?
- 아니

배가 엄청 커졌어

처음엔 괜찮았는데
지금은 가슴 위까지 불렀어

헨리가 있었으면

정신과의사지
내과의사는 아니잖아

의사는 의사잖아, 안 그래?

그렇지

속도를 높여

- 제길!
- 조심해!

뭐야!

피트, 괜찮아?

다리가 부러졌어, 내 다리!

- 좋아, 기다려봐
- 끼어서 움직일...

헨리, 도와줘!

잠깐, 피트

- 좋아, 벨트 푼다
- 맥주 방금 땄는데

됐어

다리는 어때?

부러진 게 아니라
그냥 끼었었나봐

저 남자 방사선에
노출된 건 아니겠지?

영화에서 봤는데
대머리가 되더라구

머리숱은 많은데
빨간 반점이 더 커졌어

- 뭐해?
- 땅콩버터를 먹으면 진정돼

- 너만 먹는 거 아니잖아
- 남길 거야

비버

맙소사!

여자인가봐

조심해
목졸라야 할지도 몰라

- 죽었을 거야
- 어쨌든, 우릴 죽일 뻔했어

이봐요, 우리 가니까
놀라지 말아요

이봐요?

신경 쓰지마, H
벌써 죽었어

이봐요!

부인, 내 말 들려요?
괜찮아요?

여기선 인사를 이렇게 하나본데

이봐요, 아줌마
아줌마 때문에 죽을 뻔했어요

뭐라고 말 좀 해봐요

릭을 찾아야 해요

- 좋아요
- 릭?

그래

맙소사

- 빨간 건 뭐지?
- 맥카시 얼굴하고 똑같아

저런 건 처음 봐

- 곰도 겁먹었나보네
- 어딜 가는 거지?

그게 문제가 아니라
뭘 보고 도망치는 것 같아

뭐지?

잘됐군
병원으로 옮기면 되겠어

이봐요!

도와줘요, 환자가 있어요

여긴 격리 구역입니다
그대로 계세요

격리라뇨?
환자가 있다니까

도와줘요

- 심각해요
- 환자를 데려가요

무사해서 다행입니다
이틀이면 해결될 겁니다

뭐하는 거야?

대답 좀 해줘, 친구
너무 헷갈려서 말야

- 이게 SSDD야?
- 아니

오늘은 아냐, 피트
너무 이상해

여기야

진정해요

14킬로미터니까
충분히 갈 수 있어

스노모빌 가져올 테니 기다려

피트, 잘 들어
차에 가까이 가지 마

- 부인 옆에 있어, 따뜻하게
- 알았어요, 박사님

헨리!

너 오기 전에 내가 죽으면

절대 내 애인 아니라고
좀 전해줘

- 존시, 너무 불길해
- 나도 그래

진짜 기분 나빠
감이 안 좋아

뭐가 뭔지 모르겠어

릭, 괜찮아요?

좀 아파요
그냥 좀 놔둬요

릭, 문 열어요

- 저리 가요
- 문 안 열면 부술 거예요

- 프라이버시도 없어요?
- 릭, 어디서 피가 나요?

피? 피 안 흘려요

들어가자

난 들어가기 싫은데

죽어 가는 거면 어떡해?
할 일은 해야지

셋에 들어가는 거야

하나, 둘...

잠깐, 튕겨나가면 어떡해?

- '달리지도, 장난치지도 마'
- 맞아, 그래

하나

둘, 셋!

맙소사, 뭐야!

끔찍해
차마 못 보겠어

조용히 해봐, 릭?

- 살아있어?
- 모르겠어, 릭, 릭...

맙소사, 아직 살아있나봐

내 말 들려요?
죽은 것 같아

무슨 소리야?
똥 싸는 소릴 들었어

- 똥 싸는 거 맞아?
- 이리 나와요!

맙소사!

- 안 돼!
- 안 돼?

잘했어, 뭔지 몰라도 갇혔으니
아무 데도 못 가

제길!

- 비버, 내가 앉아있을게
- 뭐?

- 넌 창고에 가
- 안 돼!

닥치고 잘 들어
거기 테이프가 있어

그걸로 뚜껑을 막아버리자

그리고 나가는 거야

- 네가 가져와
- 안 돼, 비버

넌 나보다 빠르잖아
가만히 앉아있을게

이게 나오더라도
넌 못 싸우잖아

빌어먹을, 빨리 가!

- 비버?
- 응?

가만히 앉아있어

좋아, 괜찮아

Carl's Jr. has this $6 burger,
which really only costs $3.95...

...so you think
you're getting some deal...

...but the truth is, it may be
the best franchise burger out there.

I went there yesterday
and ordered three.

By golly, those suckers
almost filled me up.

When I got home,
I still had to have a box of eggos...

...but that doesn't take away
from Carl's achievement.

I mean, here's a guy who's got
to go through life as Carl Junior, right?

Like he can never get out of the shadow
of his dad, the original Carl, I guess.

Do you think this eating has to do
with thinking you killed your mother?

That you're eating yourself
to death as punishment?

-You do think you killed her, right?
-I never said that.

She called out to you
from that big, fancy oak bed.

-She said she was having chest pain.
-I never told you any of that!

-How could you know this?
-She begged you to dial 91 1.

But she was always calling out
for you, wasn't she, Barry?

You weren't there. How could
you know what happened? How?

Doesn't matter. What matters is,
you've got to stop blaming yourself.

If you don't, you'll eat yourself
into an early grave for no reason.

You're looking in my head!
Stop it!

-Don't look in there.
-You don't have to do it, Barry.

Leave me alone!

It wasn't your fault.

Jonesy?

Hey, how are you doing, Henry?

What's that you say?

Are you going deaf?
How are you doing?

You know. SSDD.

Well, yeah, of course.

Hey, you know, I was thinking if you were
free this weekend we might go see Duddits.

Yeah, absolutely.
He's been on my mind a lot too.

It's been a long time.

It's open!

I gotta go. I got a thing here.
I'll see you Saturday.

Yeah, right.

See you Saturday.

So, Mr. Defuniak...

...do you know we're both
escapees from Maine?

You're from Pittsfield.

Do you know what happens to scholarship
students caught cheating on exams?

You had the flu that day, didn't you, David?
You didn't take the exam?

You missed the test. And since you were ill,
why not write me an essay instead?

3000 words on the short-term results
of the Norman Conquest.

-Go get started.
-Yes, sir.

Better to be from Pittsfield
than go back to it.

Thank you, sir.

How did you know?
You weren't even there that day.

Sometimes I just know.

Hello.

This probably won't work.

Never start that way with a car salesman.
We love challenges. Pete Moore.

In one hour I'm showing a house in
Fryeburg. It's a big commission.

And I just lost my damn car keys.
Could you possibly make me duplicates?

-That takes at least a day.
-Oh, boy, I just knew it!

easy, Trish. Maybe I can help.
I'm always good at finding things.

-Did I tell you my name? I don't remember--
-I guessed.

Now, let's find those keys.

-Hey, Rachel.
-Hey, Pete.

-Miss, I looked again. I couldn't find them.
-Okay. I need your help.

You had the coffee in your hand,
bought aspirin...

...went to your car,
realized the keys were gone.

-That everything?
-Yes.

Look. This is gonna seem weird,
but it's just a thing I do to help me think.

You bought a candy bar
before the aspirin.

Mars bar.

Yours, right?

One more question. If I find your keys,
will you let me buy you dinner?

West Wharf? 6:30?

Best fried clams in the state?
It's right on your way back.

Sure. Okay.

-That'd be nice.
-All right.

So you got here.
You opened your purse.

Coffee, candy and aspirin,
you're juggling it all around.

And that's when...

...you dropped your keys.

It's just luck, is all.

Thank you.

-West Wharf, right? Half past six?
-You got it.

Another fuckarow.

-Jones.
-How are you doing?

-Hey, Beaver. Same shit, different day.
-Same shit, different day.

-Wanna talk?
-No, you're trying to get home.

-What's up?
-Really, I got nothing. Go home.

-Wait, Jonesy?
- Yeah, Beav?

-You be careful.
-Be careful of what?

Wish I knew.

What did you say?

I didn't say anything.

Right. Sorry.

-Somebody call an ambulance!
-lt won't do any good.

I looked away for one second.
Then I heard a thump. What happened?

Oh, my God!
Professor Jones!

I just saw him.
He can't die!

Clear!

No good. Flatline.
Hit it again!

Clear!

-What do you think?
-I think it's no good. I think he's gone.

Watch out for lster Gay.

Jonesy, don't try to lift that stuff.

-Just go up to the cabin. I'll get that.
-Here, here, look. Big jacket.

-Beaver, I'm going in!
-All right, I'll see you in a second!

Watch the beer.

-Got blown last night.
-Good for you.

-First time?
-Bite my bag.

Met some lady at bingo, went back
to her place, turned into a nice fuckaree.

-As opposed to a fuckarow.
-Obviously.

Though I've had perfectly good fuckarees
turn into fuckarows in a flash.

-Try Viagra.
-Viagra?

I'm practically
at full salute all day.

I'm.... What do you call it?
Privatic?

Prag-- Prasmatic?
Henry will know.

-You're thinking of fourth grade.
-You're having wood problems?

-You haven't tried it, have you?
-Hell, no!

Drop that little blue bomb, you're hard
as a Louisville Slugger for 12 hours.

Twelve hours?

I'm talking Yastrzemski.
You don't have to need it to love it.

Bingo? Did you say bingo,
like the game in church basements?

-There's trim there.
-Beaver!

I thought my deal was pathetic.

-You just watch. That's your job.
-I'm fine.

H, you been thinking
about Duddits more than usual?

Remember we were gonna
go see him that weekend?

-I remember.
-Then I got hit.

I gotta tell you something weird.

The night I got hit, I was standing there
and across the street, I saw Duddits.

Just like he was that day
we first saw him back in Derry.

He was calling out for help
and everyone was ignoring him.

Then he looked over at me.
He looked directly at me.

And he motioned for me
to come to him.

You believe I saw him, don't you?

Yes, sir, I do.

Duddits loves me, I know that.
He loves us all.

He would die before
he'd ever hurt us.

So why was he calling me
into the street to get hit?

Maybe there's more to the story
we don't get yet.

-You don't know shit.
-Name it!

I'll name it after we come up
with a small wager.

-50 bucks.
-What's the subject?

In the movies, when people
wake up together...

...they immediately start kissing
and going at it.

But they never get up first, take a leak
and brush their goddamn teeth.

Which is pretty much necessary
when you wake up.

What's it called when
you got a constant woody?

-You mean priapism.
-See? I'm practically priasmic.

Priapismic.

-Whatever! It's hard.
-That's what you're betting on?

No, I can name the one movie where
they acknowledge the scuzzy facts of life.

-I'll give you a quarter.
-A quarter from you. 50 bucks from you.

-Promised Land.
-Promised Land? Never heard of it.

Meg Ryan and what's his name?
Reefer Sutherland.

-Kiefer.
-From, I don't know,1 988 or something?

So Meg Ryan wakes up in the morning
and says, "Where's the cat? "

And he says, "What cat? " And she says,
"The cat that shit in my mouth."

That will be 50 small.

-Bullshit! You made it up.
-Could Beaver make that up?

You can have that priceless piece
of cinematic trivia absolutely free.

I'm filing that in the "Who-gives-a-shit"
section of my memory warehouse.

-What's the memory warehouse?
-You don't remember?

-I must've forgot.
-You forgot?

-Just remind me. Don't give me shit.
-It's in his head. We've all got one.

-Hasn't that place been condemned?
-Not yet.

It's so crowded I have to throw something
out every time I learn something new.

When I got my new laptop I had to
throw out all my files of rock 'n' roll lyrics.

My warehouse was washed away
in a flood about 1 0 years ago.

I didn't know they had enough beer
in Maine for a flood.

Jonesy, if that really
is your name...

-...what do you do with the discarded files?
-I burn them.

-You threw away the lyrics to "Blue Bayou"?
-No.

No, if I really can't
let go of something...

...I sneak it back to an office
where I keep my secret stuff.

Where do you keep
the stuff on Duddits?

He's got a special section all his
own on the third level.

I can't stop thinking about the Duds
lately. How about you guys?

It's this place. He's all around here,
even though he's never been here.

This is our 20th year coming out
here to Hole in the Wall.

And fuck me, Freddy,
here's to 20 more.

Twenty more.

Here's to Duddits...

...our dreamcatcher.

Wish he was here.

To the Duds.

-To Douglas Cavell.
-To Duddits.

Why is Tina Schlossinger's
pussy on the wall of Tracker Brothers?

Because I said so. It's a picture.

-Have you seen it?
-No...

...but the kid who sits
behind me in shop, he saw it.

Tracker Brothers is deserted.

You don't want to see the homecoming
queen's pussy? Don't come.

Fuck me, Freddy! Some kid's shirt.

-So?
-It's new!

Scooby-Doo.

"l belong to Douglas Cavell."

"lf the boy I belong to is lost, please bring
him to 1 9 Maple Lane, Derry, Maine."

Must belong to one of those kids
from the Retard Academy.

Come on. eat it. eat it.
eat it and you can go.

Hey, you guys!
Quit it!

Just fucking quit it!

What are you doing?

You're trying to make him eat that?
What's wrong with you?

Got it. I'll make him eat
this dog turd, then he can go.

You go now.
Unless you want half.

Take a hike, girls,
while you have the chance.

Piss off.
That's your final warning.

-You better watch it!
-Why is that?

-I know who you are.
-I'm trembling with fear.

-You're Richie Grenadeau, the quarterback!
-So?

What will people say when we tell them
what we caught you doing?

You won't tell anybody anything
because you'll be dead.

-Get ready, Pete.
-Give the word, Henry.

Pete can fly. When you come for us,
all we have to do is get in your way.

I can't catch that little dick?

You know who that is?
That's Pete Moore.

That's right, fat-ass. Pete Moore.
No one can catch him.

He's going straight to his house
to tell his mother.

She'll call the cops
and then we'll see.

-You know him, is that it?
-Never saw him.

Then why ask for trouble?
I mean, look at this moron!

-He likes this attention.
-How do you know what he likes?

Come on, you dickweeds!

-You want to fight us?
-Yes! Yes!

I'm gone, Henry.
Just say the word.

-Why? You'll lose! Why?
-Because you can't do that! It's wrong!

And I'm gonna tell the world!
Tell everybody!

-You want us to leave, is that it?
-No! Let's kick their asses!

Let's go.
We'll get him later. You know that.

Get you all later.

It's okay.
You can stop now.

Do something.
Somebody!

If I do...

...and you tell anybody,
I'll never hang with you guys again.

I never knew Beav could sing.

-Beaver, that's beautiful.
-I mean it. Not one word.

eaver!

You've got a fan.

This yours?

Douglas Cavell.
That's your name, right?

I Duddits.

-What?
-I Duddits!

-Duddits?
-Duddits.

Duddits, we got to get you home.

Hey, guys! Come here!
Leave the kid there.

Stand right here, Duddits.
Right here with Scooby, okay?

Jesus Christ bananas!

No way is that
Tina Jean Schlossinger.

Maybe her grandmother.
Good going, Beav.

Holy God. We came all the way
here just for that?

No.
We came for him.

Hey, Pete.
You forgot the dogs.

Weather moving in. Double storm.
Alberta Clipper first, maybe eight inches...

...with a nor'easter on its tail.

-Get on back to the cabin, Henry.
-Heading straight there, Mr. G.

-Don't mess around.
-No, sir.

easy, fella.

easy. You're okay.
You're all right.

Thank God. Thank God.

Gee, thank God!

I'm lost. I've been lost
in the woods since yesterday.

Let's get you inside.
Get you warm.

-How would that be?
-Sure.

Here, let me get that.

-Rick McCarthy.
-Gary Jones. But it's Jonesy to everybody.

Our damn cell phones are on the blink now,
so I can't call for help...

...but our car will be back soon.

I didn't think I'd make it.
I lost the folks I was with.

You saved me, that's for sure.

What's that?

It's a dreamcatcher.

Indian charm.
Catches nightmares...

...keeps them away.
Keeps you safe down here.

I've had enough nightmares.

Been doing that all night.

I ate some berries in the dark.

I think they must have upset me.

I know what you're thinking.

Anyone who drinks at 1 1 a.m. needs
to take the cure, but I only do it here.

In the real world, I never
drink till after 5:00...

...and if it ever does,
I'm on the wagon for life.

Glad to hear it.

What's the matter with you?

About six months ago,
the day Jonesy got hit...

...I did something terrible with a patient.
Humiliated him. Drove him out of the office.

Barry Neiman.

Couple days ago, I saw his picture
in the paper. He ate himself to death.

Mind if I don't use that story
next time I'm trying to sell a Mustang?

Henry, you were a lead balloon long before
this porker munched his way to eternity.

Thanks. You're a real comfort.
You got a real delicate touch to you.

Here you go, Rick, buddy.
That will fix you up.

Jesus Christ bananas!
Some fuckarow this is turning into!

-Thanks a lot, Pete.
-Yeah, I think I got it all.

What happened to you?

Hi. Joe Clarendon.
Call me Beaver.

Rick here had a bad night
in the woods.

Welcome.

-ls that frostbite?
-No, I get the same thing from peanuts.

It's allergy.

Grilled cheese, anyone?

-No, the soup's fine for me, thanks.
-I'll bite. Sail it over here.

My mother used to feed me
pea soup when I was feeling--

Bitch in a buzz saw!

I've heard some mighty burps in my time,
but that's the blue ribbon.

I am so embarrassed.

Rick ate some berries in the woods.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, that's awful!

I'm so sorry!

Rick, buddy, don't worry about it.
There's more room out than in, anyway.

What have you been eating,
woodchuck turds?

Know what I think?

I think you need to lie down
and take you a little nap.

You know, I bet you're right.

I'm just tired, that's all.

-Come on.
-My hat.

Beaver?

In here.

Thank you for taking me in.
Thank you both.

-Shit, anybody would have.
-Maybe. Maybe not.

All right, this is in case
you have to urk...

...if you can't get to the bathroom,
which is the third door to your left.

If you go in the first,
you'll take a shit in the closet.

If you need anything, we're outside.

Fuck me, give me some air!

We got any gas masks handy?
We need a biohazard team in here.

-Wanna hear what will freak you out more?
-Not really.

You know his huge stomach?

When he got here, his stomach was normal,
but his chest was out to here!

I wish Henry was here.

He's a shrink, not an internist.

He went to med school.
Did you?

I thought about it.

You better get a run at it.

-Shit!
-Watch it!

What the hell?

-Pete, are you okay?
-No, I broke my leg! Man, my damn leg!

Okay. Hang on. Hang on a second.

-I'm caught! I can't--
-God!

-God.
-Henry! A little help here!

Hang on, Pete. Hang on.

-Okay. Here comes the seat belt.
-I just opened that beer.

I got you.

How's your leg?

Well, it ain't broken.
It's just locked up, is all.

You don't suppose
he got exposed to radiation?

I saw that once in a movie.
Guy ended up bald as Telly what's-his-fuck.

This guy's got plenty of hair. But that
red mark got bigger while I was watching it.

-What are you doing?
-Peanut butter calms me down.

-Somebody else might want to use that jar.
-I'll leave some.

Beav.

Beaver.

Criminettlies!

I think it's a woman.

I ought to warn you.
I'm gonna strangle this broad.

-I'd guess she's already dead.
-I'll strangle her anyway.

She almost got us both killed.

Hello! Here we come, ma'am.
Don't be startled.

Hello?

Forget it, H. She's gone.

Hello!

Ma'am, can you hear me?
Are you okay? Can you hear me?

I wonder if maybe that's how
they say hello around here.

Listen, Miss Road Kill,
you almost got us dead.

Say something.

I have to find Rick.

-Okay.
-Rick.

Yeah.

Fuck me, Freddy.

-What's all that red stuff on their fur?
-Just like McCarthy's cheek.

-I never saw anything like this before.
-even the bears look scared.

-Of what? Where are they going?
-It's not where that worries me...

...it's what are they running away from?

What the hell?

This could be perfect.
They can get Stinky to a hospital.

Hey, you guys!

-We need some help! Got a sick guy inside!
-This area is under temporary quarantine.

-Stay where you are.
-What quarantine?

-We got a sick guy down here!
-We need your help here!

-We got a real sick guy here!
-Take him with you now!

Glad you're okay. This situation
will be resolved in 24 to 48 hours.

Kiss my bender!

I gotta ask you, old buddy.
Because I'm confused.

-ls this SSDD or not?
-Definitely not.

Different shit today, Pete.

And a pretty weird day so far,
if you want to know.

Over here.

There you go.

easy.

It's nine miles to Hole in the Wall.
I think I can manage it.

I'll bring the snowmobile back
and get you both.

Now, Pete, you listen to me.
Don't go back to the car for beer.

-Stay with her. Keep her warm.
-Right hand to God, Dr. D.

Henry!

If we die before you get back...

...promise you'll tell everybody
she wasn't my date.

I'm telling you, Jonesy,
I don't like this at all.

This is turning into a double fuckarow.
A real jobba-nobba.

-Rick, you okay?
-I'm a little sick, fellas.

-I just need to make a little room.
-McCarthy, Rick, open up, man.

-Go away!
-Open the door or we break it down.

-Can't a man have some privacy?
-Rick, where are you bleeding from?

Bleeding? I'm not bleeding.

-Let's do it.
-I'm not positive I wanna go in there.

What if he's dying? Scooby-Dooby-Doo,
we got some work to do now.

On three. Ready?

One.... Two....

Hold it!
What if we just bounce off?

-No bounce, no play.
-Right. No bounce, no play.

One....

And a two.... Three!

Oh, fuck! Oh, man!
Fuck!

I don't want to see this!
I can't see this.

-Shut up a minute. Mr. McCarthy? Rick?
-ls he still alive?

I don't know. Rick?
Rick, are you--?

Oh, man! Jonesy, if he can still do that,
he must be alive.

Can you hear me?
I think he's dead.

Bullshit! He dropped a clinker!
I heard it.

-I don't think that was a clinker.
-That's enough, snap out of it!

-Oh, my God!
-My God!

-No!
-No?

Good move! It's trapped.
Got nowhere to go but the septic tank.

Oh, shit!

-Listen, Beaver, we're gonna change places.
-What?

-One of us is gonna go to the shed.
-No way!

Shut up and listen!
There's friction tape there.

You go get it, come back.
We'll tape the lid down.

Then we're gonna get the hell out of here!

-You get the tape, Jonesy.
-Don't be brave, Beav.

You're faster than me.
I'll sit on Thumper.

No, if it does get out, you can't fight it.
Not with your hip.

Oh, my God!
Goddamn it! Go!

-And Beav?
-Yeah?

Sit tight, buddy.

Okay.